Dear TV: The Long Kiss Goodnight Is Waiting For You
Because I am apparently in the business of inventing TV shows that no one is paying me for, here’s another one.
There is no good reason why The Long Kiss Goodnight isn’t a television series. You remember, the Shane Black-written, Renny Harlin directed flick from 1996, which starred Geena Davis as a housewife who learns that she’s actually an assassin and Samuel L. Jackson as the shitty detective who befriends her and leader her to her identity.
It didn’t do all that well at the box office when it was first released: The Long Kiss Goodnight cost $65 million and grossed $33 million, and this was back when domestic grosses meant something. Geena Davis was probably the wrong star — you never once bought her as maternal, so the shift to homicidal didn’t carry the necessary weight. And Shane Black’s thread of homophobia didn’t do any favors. And it was just the wrong kind of dark at the wrong time.
But today, that idea would fit in perfectly well on FX or AMC or HBO or Cinemax. A woman struggling with a submerged persona that erupts at all the wrong times, not knowing which her is the real her. A family that doesn’t know what to make of this person who flips from intimately familiar to stranger-made-of-danger on a dime.
And once the CIA twigs to the presence of their former prize assassin who’s been off the grid for a decade, she’s forced to leave the people she loves to protect them from herself — all in a quest to uncover who she was in another life and why her former bosses tried to kill her.
Jesus, give me Naomi Watts and a 13-episode order and we’re off to the races.